Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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