So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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