I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
