If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
