Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
