so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize