You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
