I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
