i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
