just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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