If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
