just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
