I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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