D3 body, D1 cock
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
