Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
