My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
