so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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