So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
