So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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