So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
God, I missed his penis.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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