you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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