after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
