why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We smell like vodka and hangover
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