I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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