I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
