it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
