I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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