But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i out mim tonsoeep
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