Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
worst night to have a conscience
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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