Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
