It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
