Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize