hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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