im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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