O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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