Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
