I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
