yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
