i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize