I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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