Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Found your dick twin last night
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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