...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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