there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
