dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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