worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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