3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
