dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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