guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
