It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
