Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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