I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize