Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
