google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Every concussion has its silver lining
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
