When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
