hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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