I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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