no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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