I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We have started to decorate penises.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
