How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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