so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
