whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize