just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
