he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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