He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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